Without Phoenix
by Caramia Pen
Summary: A parody of Eminem's hit song "Without Me" featuring everybody's favorite spiky-haired defense attorney.


_Disclaimer: All _Ace Attorney_ characters, and other related media, belong to Capcom. The Eminem song, _'Without Me' _belongs to whoever rightfully owns it. I'm just one person on the internet making no-profit parodies because I enjoy tormenting myself like that._

_Author's Note: The original long _'Without Me' _and the instrumental version of the the song can be viewed at the following links: http:/ www. you tube .com /watch ?v= RscYA_fBqKY and http :/ www. you / watch? v= -eKKReD MyPE (just take out the spaces)._

Without Phoenix

"Shu Takumi. Real name, no gimmicks."

Two Fey Clan girls go 'round the outside, 'round the outside, 'round the outside.

Two Fey Clan girls go 'round the outside,'round the outside, 'round the outside.

"HOLD IT!"

Guess who's back, back again?

Nicky's back, tell a friend.

"Guess who's back, pal."

"Guess who's foolishly back, fool."

"Guess who's back, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasse!"

"Gu355 W|-|05 |34c| ^^"

"Your special someone's back!"

"Lang zi says, 'Guess who's back".

"Guess who's back, Herr Forehead."

I'm makin' an objection, 'cause nobody wants to

see Phoenix no more they want Apollo

I'm chopped liver.

Well if you want Apollo this is what I'll give ya,

A piece of forged evidence drawn up by Vera.

A page smeared my career, ended an era.

Brought me down turned me around as a poker ace

at the Borscht Bowel Club where I'm piano playing

since I'm not paying the bills by investigating. "Hey!"

you waited this long now stop complaining

'cause I'm back and I know some stuff needs explaining.

They say GS5 is in the making,

but we know Capcom's fond of procrastinating.

So yaoi fangirls won't let me be

or let me be me so let me see.

They like to slash me with Mitsurugi

that's creepy it's not canon, really!

So come on, find the contradiction

it will just add to your video game addiction.

Now don't run off, 'cause I'm about to have a payoff.

I just settled all my cases, F- YOU KRISTOPH!

[Chorus repeat 2x]

Now this looks like a case for me

so everybody just look and see

'cause I've got the evidence here with me

'cause the game feels empty without me.

Little gaming fans who don't live in Japan,

embarrassed their parents arn't anime fans,

never heard of Gyakuten Saiban

'til some lawyer man comes along and yells, "OBJECTION!"

A gaming sensation, across the nation, known for great translation.

Stormin' the internet; a cult hit

go buy it right now

'cause in the land of the rising sun I'm a cash cow.

And it's a disaster, no fanboy can stay calm,

because I was not in Tasunoko vs. Capcom.

Well I'm back (nanananananananana) with a cameo in

Ghost Trick, a new game different from the old shtick.

I'm also re-realisn' on Wii Ware.

Not to mention the i-phone, now I'll declare

addressing that being disbarred was depressing

distressing some fans into protesting

Testing, "Order, please."

Feel the tension when someone mentions hobo!me.

I've been hit by wigs, whips, and coffee.

What's with the courtroom absurdity?

[Chorus repeat 2x]

I'll yell, "TAKE THAT! TAKE THIS!"

To any prosecutor who's business is to be my nemesis.

Fransizka, givin' me a hernia

with all you fool's foolishness, we heard ya!

And Edgeworth, think your game has any worth?

It's got the most annoying final boss on earth!

Know what? Here's a suggestion:

NOBODY LIKES AN ENDLESS CROSS EXAMINATION!

Now let's go, I'll get the right verdict.

You'll know when you hear my "Cornered" leitmotif

that I'm the best, better than all the rest,

and if you don't think so, just put me to the test.

I'm the only gaming character you will see

that has their very own musical CD,

and I can also guarantee

without me, gaming has no glee.

Now I'm not the first to solve a mystery,

but I'm the first in gaming history

to make the court seem kind of epic

though it don't earn me any respect.

Hey! There's a concept that works:

a game where every character has a quirk,

but no matter how loony they all might be

the game feels empty without me.

[Chorus repeat 2x]

[Repeat 2x]

(Ob-ob-ob-jection)

Clues!


End file.
